Remembering Britain: see what you’re missing

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See what you’re missing from Britain

By Martin Coates

hamburgerWhile sitting under the Cretan sun, the cooler nearby packed with cold Amstels, I reminisced about all the things I left behind in Britain.  I mean, only in that great land:

  • can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
  • do supermarkets make sick people negotiate their way to the back for prescriptions, while healthy folk get to buy their cigarettes at the front door
  • do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries and a DIET coke
  • do people lock their junk lawnmower in the garage and leave their expensive cars on the drive
  • are there disabled parking spaces in front of the Ice  Rink

And finally, I was thinking how much safer it is on Crete.  Last year in Britain:

  • 18 people had serious burns trying on a new jumper with a cigarette in their mouth
  • 544 Brits needed hospital treatment after opening beer bottles with their teeth
  • 8 people cracked their skulls while throwing up in the toilet
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